Psoriasis is bad. Psoriasis commercials are amazing

For the past two years, I’ve noticed an increase in advertising for psoriasis medications, from virtually non-existent to at least one per commercial break. As a hypochondriac, my first conclusion was that I have psoriasis — maybe moderate but probably severe, because I don’t half-ass anything. Or maybe everybody else has it, and I don’t, which gives me anxiety-inducing FOMO. 

But the actual reason I’m seeing so many rash commercials is far more depressing, yet has nothing to do with chemtrails. “The disease is primarily seen in adults with the highest number of cases in persons aged 45 to 64, which also happens about the same demographic as the cable news audience,” reads a report from forbes.com.

I watch zero cable news and am not 40. But I am 39 and suck down CBS This Morning and CBS Sunday Morning like Coca-Cola. Gayle’s a national treasure, and Tony Dokoupil has snuck his way into favor with the perfect pairing of casual footwear and blue suits. And what’s not to like about Anthony Mason? Nothing. That’s what. But I digress. 

Psoriasis commercials are celebrations of life. They highlight all the things you can do again once you “trash that rash,” which isn’t their slogan, but you now think it should be. Psoriasis survivors can drive Jeep convertibles or make homemade pasta with their in-laws. And with the right treatment, many experience 75% less irritation and 100% more behind-the-back lemon tosses. Science is truly amazing.